I grow old.
Brain cells slow
their hurried pace
or just vacate
my inner space
beyond the world I know.
The lights within my head
switch down to dim.
I grow forgetful.
Why am I here? I say,
regardless of the room I’m in.
Where is my data base?
What once was clear
and ever near
now fades or disappears.
Information I’ve collected,
recorded, sorted, reviewed,
used or ignored,
becomes ‘Top Secret’ too.
What was that word, that name?
Where did ‘that’ go?
Where are they stored-
the things that I once knew?
So little remains
of all my hard-earned gains-
knowledge, understanding,
and wisdom lost,
that of others and my own.
Where are the harvests
my love of life has sown?
Where are the memories
of living I have known?
What meanings did I choose
making and hearing ‘news’?
World views change.
Paradigms shift.
Values change. Morality too.
The ‘right’ and ‘wrong’
depends on View.
Opportunity shines in every test,
encouraging- Be and Do our best.
Passion for life still echoes in me
but strength grows less.
I wonder where I left my zest?
What we give becomes our gift,
leaving all for death’s great rest.
My heartfelt sympathies abound
for loss of freedoms all around.
My mind’s become untidy-
a cluttered, jumbled heap,
wanting more and more to sleep.
Is there some intelligence to retrieve
before I breathe my last and leave?
I hasten to compress
thoughts I must confess
just bits and bytes by me for me,
written here lest I forget,
yet, this too, I shall forget.
This is what I now see
of our Human History:
a simultaneous expression
and continuous succession
in slow and rapid changes
of ‘Elites’
deemed ‘choice’, ‘superior’, ‘best’,
with supporting
in all created systems
and structures
of Belief and Behaviour
through the corridors of Time.
The Game on Gaia
is Circles and Pyramids
of Power ‘Elites’-
aggressing progressions,
promoting, enriching, protecting
their own at any cost-
wars and persecutions,
feasts of suffering.
(I’ve lived many lives
and often played this Game.)
I see Political ‘Elites’-
rulers and aspiring rulers
in dynasties, dictatorships,
democracies, in ‘ists’ and ‘isms’,
parties ‘left’ and parties ‘right’,
the ‘chosen’, ‘elected’, ‘appointed’…
I see Religious ‘Elites’-
the ‘initiated’ and ‘illuminated’,
claiming divine ‘right’
and divine ‘might’,
the ‘chosen’, ‘elect’, ‘anointed’…
I see Economic ‘Elites’-
adept money makers
influencing and dictating,
powers local and powers global…
I see Social ‘Elites’-
bonding and betraying,
status intoxicated
with ‘class’ and ‘caste’,
glutinous for pride and envy…
I see Military ‘Elites’-
defending and aggressing,
enforcing and policing
unquestioning compliance,
an endless march of units,
humans and machines
commanding obedience and reliance,
serving all Power ‘Elites’
through sacrifice of ‘self’ and others…
I see ‘Elites’ in all
bright and dark Arts,
bright and dark Sciences,
‘Elites’ with ‘heady’ Philosophies
detached from ‘heart’…
‘Elites’ of muscular Sports
winning at any cost…
On and on they march
through Human History,
all playing the Ancient Game
of a very young Species.
How I do admire, respect
and celebrate the best within us,
the best in Humanity-
courage, honour, integrity,
kindness, compassion, generosity,
every attribute of love…
I am grown old and weary-
weary of ‘staged’ histories,
nightmarish ‘realities’,
egocentric personalities
that devalue, diminish,
deplete, and delete others-
tired of false claims,
self-serving aims,
corrupt hearts and minds
redefining ‘choice’ and ‘best’,
‘the good life’, and one’s ‘worth’.
I am grown weary
of ‘superiority’ and greed,
misuse of power,
invisible tyrannies,
secret agendas,
hidden truths,
freedoms robbed,
healings withheld,
denied basic needs,
obscene displays of wealth.
Can an old rocking chair make waves?
I quietly ask myself.
What was I thinking?
What was I saying?
Oh yes, I need a nap,
a nap in which to dream.
Now it’s time to dream…

(Shelley Wilson- July 31, 2016)


May your Spirit shine brightly, Shelley


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