Walking beneath this tree felt like a gift as I celebrated my 69th birthday today.
Walking beneath this tree felt like a gift as I celebrated my 69th birthday today.
An Ordinary Life
So here I am about to turn 69 years old soon. Before jumping boldly into the next decade, I plan to clearly and honestly evaluate my earthly years on this little planet rolling bravely around our vast, cosmic neighbourhood.
Unless crazed false witnesses testify otherwise, many would say I’ve lived a very ordinary life. I agree.
No claims to personal fame or fortune. No brushes with The Law. No great achievements. No dark secrets and nothing to hide.
I’ve lived a humble, quiet and peaceful life with just enough tastes of solitude to keep me balanced.
My childhood was envied by all the other children of our neighbourhood in Kirkland Lake because of the love that supported my growth in a healthy family life. When I married, my husband and I did the same for our two children growing up in Englehart as well.
As children, my siblings and I, then my children, all had ‘free rein’ to explore these small Northeastern Ontario towns- free to experience unplanned outdoor adventures in all seasons. No internet. No computer games or social media. No cell phones. No texting or location services. No surveillance cameras everywhere. Trust was a given unless evidence proved beyond doubt…
Those were friendlier, less suspicious, less fearful and invasive times for Canadian adults and children, at least where we lived. There were more genuine smiles, more patience and politeness shown in everyday public interactions wherever we went. Going to school wasn’t life-threatening. Violence as entertainment was less ‘real’, less ‘gruesome’, less ‘effective’ in psychologically shaping character and behaviours. Growing up, my friends and I never wanted to be ‘the bad guy’. It’s a different world now.
I’ve read a lot. Perhaps whole libraries. Children’s Literature. Fairy Tales. School Texts on various subjects. Then came Adult Literature. World Religions and Scriptures. World Philosophies. Sciences. Fictions. Arts and Crafts. It was all quite a feast.
I’ve always been artistic. No master of any particular art form, I consider myself a life-long ‘explorer’ of many fine arts and crafts. Poetry has ever been my favourite form of artistic self-expression but I can only ‘aspire’ to mastery in that as well. No matter. I love being creative and have found a meditative, peaceful joy in these common activities shared by so many.
I do so love my long and ordinary life.
(Shelley A. Wilson- March 27, 2019)
Hello Spring! I’m so delighted you’ve come to stay with us for a while. Your presence here is welcome in my heart, my home, and everywhere I go. You’ve made a brilliant entrance on this longed for warm and sunny day. I’ve put away my Winter wear. Now I’m breathing in your sweet, clean air as I sit here outside my door watching the grass grow.
The wee groupings of bright yellow Daffodils have opened themselves to show their pretty faces to me. Are those the faint sounds of child-like giggles I just heard?
Earlier this morning as I sat outside with my cup of tea, I enjoyed hearing a very small Frog with a very loud voice inviting others to its lovely pond home. A movement in the sky caused me to look up where an Eagle was circling and soaring high above. Then a Raven drew my attention as it flew out of the woods to a nearby tree. I admired its beautiful black plumage as it perched on a sturdy branch. It stared intently at me and began to make all kinds of fascinating sounds. Perhaps on some deeper level I understood that strange and foreign language. Perhaps it was simply announcing your gracious presence to its home as well.
When the Raven departed I turned to look at a clump of Pampas Grass. I’d combed those long strands of Pampas to remove the dead from the living so new growth could thrive. A gentle Breeze passed through. Its touch felt refreshingly cool on my skin. It lifted my long hair to dance in the air. It tickled the Pampas too, making its strands dance about. Was that a faint, strange laughter I heard then?
Then a ‘whoosh’ sound came from the woods. I caught sight of an Owl in flight. Minutes later, I heard its hooting voice among the tall trees. Was it announcing your arrival too, beautiful Spring?
With a fresh cup of tea in hand, I sat by the warmed garden rocks facing the gnarly Garry Oaks, showy Arbutus, and lofty Douglas Fir wondering ‘What next?’
A sudden movement revealed a Western Skink darting swiftly across the road to sunlit rocks on the other side. I slowly sipped my tea as another one raced across to the woods as well. A third Reptile appeared on a mossy rock three feet away from me. This little Lizard climbed higher, stopped a moment, moved further, then stopped still to stare silently at me for several minutes. I didn’t move either, staring back at it curiously. I felt its curiosity to be stronger than its instinctive fear. If our sizes were reversed, would I feel the same I wondered. Would I be so brave?
Well, now that you’re here, wondrous Spring, I will have more adventures and so much more to wonder about too.
(Shelley A. Wilson- March 20, 2019)
God Of My Understanding Now
Hi God. I am writing this to clear out the ‘spaces’ of outdated, unworkable, and misinformed beliefs I once held dear.
As I humbly evolve and grow, my understandings of You changes. Indeed, don’t we all? In the presence of Your Omniscience, I recognize and reserve the right to be ‘wrong’, ‘foolish’, or ‘silly’ in my new beliefs and understandings of You as well. We humans are a very young species.
You are pure and boundless Love…Life Itself…true Freedom. I see You better now…no fear, no need to beg and plead for mercies, for anything at all. Now I see.
You are no trickster of ‘supernatural theatrical displays’ for zealous ‘conversions’. You offer no promises of ‘countless’ progeny, great wealth and power dominance with old and new ‘investments’ made ‘holy’ by pledges of an endless alliance for allegiance in ‘vows’ and ‘contracts’ to ‘wage’ merciless and vicious wars, aggressions and possessions ‘justified’ and ‘sanctified’ as was done often globally in primitive times before.
You make no demands for animal or human sacrifices or ‘substitute sacrifices’ of external genitalia parts. You never have. You have no need for ‘sons’ to die, deadly symbolism and dramatization of Your ‘life-giving sun’ as ‘self-sacrifice’ acceptable, worthy, and sacred (sacrifice pure, innocent and virginal) to ‘pay the price’ for us to live in the heavens, for us to be counted ‘acceptable’ and ‘worthy’ vicariously. You have no need for our ‘worship’, our ‘sacrifices’, our ‘fear of You”. People just made that up long ago.
Your unconditional, perfect Love has no judgments, no ‘judgment days’, no ‘judgment trials’, no punishments for errant ways, no cruel condemnations, no artificial and changing laws for ‘sins’.
You have created no ‘puppeted’ or ‘dictated’ destinies of people or nations, no ‘staged historical events’. We’ve done all that secretly in Your Names.
Your all-embracing, infinite Love has no special ‘elect’, no ‘chosen’ few, no ‘superior elites’ and their claimed ‘divine rights’ to protect. There are no ‘unbelievers’ to imprison or to kill (violating God-given free will) for You, Beloved, are Freedom Itself and we are of the same ‘essence’.
There are no ‘eternal hells’ of Divine threats and vindictiveness, no ‘annihilations’ of our being, no ‘heavenly harems’, no ‘hypnotizing harps’, no ‘trumpets of doom’, no ‘pearly gates’ opened or closed, no ‘streets’ of ethereal ‘gold’ to walk, no ‘religious competitions’ with ‘winner’ and ‘loser’ races, no ‘winner races’ or ‘loser races’, no ‘tithing tickets’ and bequeathed money to ‘buy favour’ and ‘entry’ to Your Heaven’ of Divine Love, Your ‘Paradise’ of Peace and Plenty, Your ‘Court’ of submissive supplicants, Your ‘Kingdom’ of Power and Privilege. We have made You in our filtered perceptions and fearful imaginings. We have made You in our images, idols, systems and structures changing ever so slowly as we go on.
How did all these ancient ‘Stories’, ‘Symbols’, and ‘Traditions’ start? In Your Names we have created so much misery on this little planet because of our immature understandings. In Your Freedom and Higher Awareness we can question it all. We can question the messages, beliefs, and actions of ‘angels’, ‘messengers’, ‘prophets’, and global ‘gods’ of our distant past. We can seek to understand the whys (Why?) and the hows (How?) this nightmarish madness of continuous conflict and suffering all began. Then we can move forward gratefully and graciously into a wiser Tomorrow. We are a young species with so much wondrous potential.
(Shelley A. Wilson- March 15, 2019)
When I apply cosmetics to ‘make up’ my face, I feel more ‘myself’. I must have been one of those ancient alien gods whose life-form naturally had ‘eyeliner’ around our eyes from birth. These were the gods who the ancient Egyptians and others imitated with their adornments and ‘magic eyes’- as do women around the globe even today.
Ah, perhaps you don’t believe in ‘the gods’? Well, Jesus said ‘ye are gods and all of you are children of the Most High’ when he quoted more ancient Judaic scriptures. ‘Ye are gods…’ The first response most people make is vehement denial (denial then ridicule or worse)- denial of their own divinity, the divinity of Humanity and all evolving Creation.
For some, only ‘special’ or ‘chosen’ people are ‘divine’. The rest of us are ‘dirt under their feet’ and ‘unworthy’- even so ‘unworthy’ as to deny the presence and glory of Life within us that all manner of things are done to and by us to ‘prove’ that denial as our reality.
Of course, we are all ‘making up’ our realities, our rules, our systems, our collective and personal lives. We are even ‘making up’ our own versions of God and what we think God ‘wants’ as if the Prime Creator of all ‘wants and needs’ anything. Woe be to anyone who disagrees with ‘our version’, for we humans have a long history as a species of persecuting, torturing and/or killing anyone with a ‘different version’. How ‘civilized’ is that? Not!!!
Perhaps my ‘ancient eyes’ see differently than yours now. So be it. I wish you Peace as I happily apply ‘make up’ once again.
(Shelley A. Wilson- March 9, 2019)
This is a photographic memory to cherish some unforgettable tulips that graced our table in March 2013. I have rarely ever used the word ‘exquisite’ to describe anything but this is truly the best word to describe these most delicate wonders of Nature.
Taking time out from crafting, my daughter and I are enjoying these flowers and puzzle on our table for a while. Like breathing, inspiration will eventually come to start the creative process for new projects to be expressed here on our craft table. Then, when these flowers and puzzles and projects are long forgotten, this photo will help us remember this time and this table of flowers and the puzzle we worked on together.
As a child, this is just how I would have coloured these carnations with my crayon. Many florists now snub these lovelies as ‘old fashioned’ but I have no such prejudice. Our fickle attitudes to these flowers may move through the spectrum but they are ever lovely regardless.
May we evolve to value and cherish all lives here on Earth and far beyond in this free will universe, for the Prime Creator, Life Itself, is present in all lives. In Essence, we are all one.