I Once Believed

I Once Believed

I once believed in a God of Contradictions, a Parent Almighty, a Loving Creator God of Unlimited Power who was Powerless to Make Humans Obey, especially Women, a God who Needed the Help of Men to Fight Ancient and Modern Wars, to Obey and Kill on Command, Obedient to Commandments and Punishing Laws, a God of Wrath.

I once believed in a God of Sacrifice, a Death Dealing God who Required us to Demonstrate Obedience through our Self Sacrifice and the Sacrifice of our Loved Ones, especially the Innocents, the Child, the Children of God, Sons and Daughters of Man, the countless Sacrifices of Harmless Animals to a Primitive God still worshipped by many.

I once believed in a God of Rewards and Punishments, Rewards of Heaven, of Paradise, for Blind Faith and Blind Obedience, for the Right Genes, the Right Religion, the Chosen, the Elect, the Superior Few- a God of Jealousy, Vengeance and Cruelty to All Others- the Unbelievers, the Infidels, the Heretics, People of the Wrong Religion or Race or Politics, the Wrong History and Geography, the Wrong Beliefs, a Very Exclusive and Elitist God.

I once believed in a God who used Angels (those Humans and Extraterrestrials) with powerful Weapons to Destroy whole Cities, even the Children too- Innocent Infants, Toddlers and Teens, Children of Men and Women in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time (Collateral Damage), Justified Death, Horrific Killing for Power and Control of Earth. Was it they who told us about the Horrors of Hells? I wonder.

I once believed in a God of Retribution, a God of Karma Making us, Forcing us, to Return Again and Again until we Got It Right, until we Outgrew our Unacceptable Behaviours, our Sins born of Ignorance that Mother of Evils, until we finally Saw the Light in our Meditations and Prayers or through our Devotions, Adorations and Rituals Considered Needed to Get It Right, Enlightened At Last.

I walk in the Wonder of Life Itself Letting Go of anything Less than Pure Love and True Freedom, those Other Names for God…

January 19, 2023

Shelley Audrey Wilson

Victoria, BC

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